Every morning at around this time, the previous night’s
dream comes back to me in arresting detail, hovers in my mind for a few seconds
and then disappears. I’ve decided to start writing them down.
Last night I dreamt that I was showing someone our house on Google
maps. Then we decided to zoom out to see it in context in the central belt. I
zoomed out again to show a map of Scotland. Then again to see the whole UK and
the fringes of northern Europe. Then again to see all of western Europe and the
top of Africa. And again to see most of the globe. Then one more time to see
the whole planet as a shining blue sphere against inky black space. At this
point I had a feeling that I had discovered some secret function of Google maps
that was somehow forbidden territory, but having got this far I felt I had to
go on.
I zoomed out again for a view of the solar system, then
again to see neighbouring stars and planetary systems. One more time for a
magnificent view of the entire Milky Way, and again I zoomed out to see the
infinite vastness of space and neighbouring galaxies in startling detail. I
zoomed out two or three more times until billions of galaxies were themselves
framed by black space, and they seemed to form a shape. I zoomed back in a few
million light years to see what the shape was.
It was the Queen’s head, wearing a party hat.
You win again, subconscious.
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